theberliel

📸 : Harry P. Leu Gardens, 2022 Marie Curie — the godmother of radioactivity, the pioneer of women in science, and the first (and still the only) person to hold two Nobel Prizes in different sciences — was not initially allowed to study science. In Poland, where women were not permitted to pursue higher education, Curie was forced to enroll in an underground college in Warsaw called “the Flying University”. Originally founded to educate women, the university became a safe haven for Poles living oppressive Russian rule to study Polish history and culture.  A few years after completing her education and saving up money by working as a governess, Curie moved to France, where she was able to earn degrees in physics and mathematics at the Sorbonne. But even after she married and discovered radium (the element that remains the basis for modern cancer treatments), the Nobel committee still tried to exclude Curie from being considered for the prize, at the nominating only her two male coll...

📸 : Sunken Gardens, 2022 It’s not selfish or a sign of weakness to distance yourself or walk away from those who constantly bring down your vibe. Life is about balance. It’s about spreading kindness, but it’s also about not letting anyone take that kindness away from you.  Do you think it’s selfish to put yourself first? Depending on the context, it can be selfish to think of yourself and not others. For example, if a pie is cut into eight equal pieces and there are eight hungry people in the room, it would be selfish of you to take two pieces.  However, it’s often important to put yourself first. You have a lot of energy to give, but you must save some of that energy for yourself. You came into this world alone and you’ll leave on your own, I remember one of my exes said like that.  :)  Your longest relationship in life is with yourself. Only when you manage this relationship well can you manage your relationships with others.  Ideally, we want to be in a plac...

📸 : Sunken Gardens, 2022 Before you complain about school, remember that some people can’t even get an education.  Before you complain about getting fat, remember that some people don’t have any food.  Before you complain about your job, remember that some people don’t even have any money.  Before you complain about cleaning the house, remember that some people don’t even have any shelter.  Before you complain about washing the dishes, remember that some people don’t even have any water.  Being thankful is one of the simplest, and yet most powerful, habits you can cultivate. By counting your blessings daily, you can begin to condition your mind to look for good in everything around you. Soon enough, you’ll unconsciously begin to see the bright side of things and feel better about life.  You can’t feel bad while you’re feeling thankful. As simple as showing gratitude sounds, most people struggle with it. It’s much easier to focus on burdens than on gifts; t...

  📸:  Gran Canaria, 2022 It’s hard to crack a smile when things are going wrong. But a 2003 study by Simone Schnall and James Laird showed that if you fake a smile, you can actually trick your brain into thinking you’re happy by releasing feel-good hormones called endorphins.  This might seem a little wacky at first. If smiling for no reason feels too strange, then find a reason to smile.  You could smile at the prospect of your smile itself making someone else feel happier. They might smile back at you, giving you a genuine reason to keep your smile alive.  In fact, our entire body and physiology can affect our thoughts and feelings. By changing our outer state, we can change our inner state.  If I told you to show me how someone would appear if they were depressed, you’d probably know exactly how to portray them: you’d slump with your head down, looking grim. If I asked you to show me how someone would appear if they were angry, you could do that with ea...

📸: Bologna, 2022 DO THE DAMN THING!  There’s a lot of talk about “haters” — people who seem to only only know how to criticize. But there’s even more talk about what to do about those haters. Shake it off. Block out the haters. F*ck the haters. These responses are all reasonable, given the endless barrage of criticism and negativity coming from said haters.  But blocking out the haters can be dangerous. Where do we draw the line between true hatred and constructive criticism? Can we really just block out everything we don’t want to hear? How can we tell the difference?  Brené Brown, the famous author, researcher, and speaker on shame and vulnerability, has a succinct answer to these questions. She says in her Netflix special Brené Brown: The Call to Courage,  “You cannot take criticism and feedback from people who are not being brave with their lives.”   She talks in her research about how being brave actually means being vulnerable. If people aren’t in the rin...

📸: Bologna, 2022 One of my favorite poems is “Desiderata” by Max Ehrmann, at least the part for the way it makes me think new things upon each rereading. In it, a passage near the beginning goes like this:  If you compare yourself with others,  You may become vain and bitter; For always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.  Comparison will kill you, because no matter who you are, someone will always be better than you, and someone else worse. It is both maddening and freeing to acknowledge this truth.  The best advice I’ve ever received came from my ex boyfriend, who first showed me “Desiderata”. I was feeling insecure about my job and my place at work, because at that time I saw my ex got promotion and I wasn’t. He told me to “stay in my lane.” He said, “I’m in my lane, and you’re in yours. Neither lane is better than the other.”  We all have our own thing. His success didn’t mean I wouldn’t als...

📸: St. Petersburg, 2022 I love the shit out of you.  Because that’s what love is. And if we allow it to, that’s what love does.  That is the arousal of intimacy, of partnership, vulnerability, and connection.  I guess when we realize that we need to communicate more effectively and openly, and as a direct result we are closer than we have ever been, both physically and emotionally. But that doesn’t mean it’s been easy.  Love.  Where do we begin?  What are we taught about love growing up?  Where do we learn how to love? From our parents? From our friends? From the movies?  Do we fall into it, or do we choose it?  When it comes to love, I am the one of the lucky ones.  Because I also got to see, especially when it came to my parents, how hard and at times uncomfortable a long-lasting and loving marriage can be. It was through witnessing the seasons of love, the ups and downs, the struggles and the communication failures of my parents, com...

📸 :  Gran Canaria, 2022 Someone ever told me that Love is the energy of life. I think before we can attempt to love people who hard to love, we need to understand the importance of love and to know what love is and is not.  Love is the energy of life, and it is what motives people to get up each day and keep going. What do you think, loves? 😊 I am a Christian and I have a faith in my God. I would love to share my bible understanding little bit, that I read this morning from Matthew 25:40 — “Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” My point well — We often want God on visit us or to do some miraculous work to prove that He cares for us, but we can see from God’s Word and this bible verse that anytime we show love to another person, God is here.  This bible story (I don’t write it here; just the fav bible verse on the story), is impactful because it teaches us that God considers the way we treat others...

Falling in love and finding a compatible partner with whom to have children is determined by so many things, many of which are out of our control.  It’s not something you can decide and schedule, and the people who view romantic partnership that way — where the partner is a means to an end — don’t end up in happy marriages.  📸:  Orlando, 2022 What you should find most reassuring is that your daughter evidently has a very full life — you mention friends, a career, her own home, varied travel and also lover. You describe someone who is ambitious as well as kind. My friend’s mum once said: “Getting married is the easiest thing a woman can do.” And I am inclined to agree with her. It is easy to sleepwalk into a relationship with no personal standards because of fear that time is running out.  It is hard to build a life for yourself and invite someone in who you love and respect, who will treat you with the care and kindness you deserve.  Instead of worrying that sh...

📸:  Orlando, 2022 When everything around me is moving so fast, I stop and ask, "Is it the world that's busy, or is it my mind?" There is a famous Buddhist saying that everyone appears as buddhas in the eyes of the Buddha and every one appears as pigs in the eyes of a pig.  It suggests that the world is experienced according to the state of one's mind. When your mind is filled with negative thoughts, the world appears negative , too. When you feel overwhelmed and busy, remember that you are not powerless.  When your mind rests, the world also rests.  When you have unpleasant feeling, don't grab hold of it and turn it over and over.  Instead, leave it alone so it can flow.  The wave of emotion will naturally recede on its own as long as you don't feed by dwelling on it.  If we know how to be content, we can relax our endless striving and welcome serenity.  If we know how to be content, we can enjoy the time we have with the person next to us. ...