All Zeroed Out

📸: St. Petersburg, 2022
I love the shit out of you. 
Because that’s what love is. And if we allow it to, that’s what love does. 
That is the arousal of intimacy, of partnership, vulnerability, and connection. 
I guess when we realize that we need to communicate more effectively and openly, and as a direct result we are closer than we have ever been, both physically and emotionally. But that doesn’t mean it’s been easy. 
Love. 
Where do we begin? 
What are we taught about love growing up? 
Where do we learn how to love? From our parents? From our friends? From the movies? 
Do we fall into it, or do we choose it? 
When it comes to love, I am the one of the lucky ones. 
Because I also got to see, especially when it came to my parents, how hard and at times uncomfortable a long-lasting and loving marriage can be. It was through witnessing the seasons of love, the ups and downs, the struggles and the communication failures of my parents, combined with the “notebook” romance too let’s say, that I learned how to love. 
When you have a concept as massive and universal as love, it really helps me to break it down and think of it in smaller ways. In my faith, we are told that for every spiritual law God gave us, there is a physical counterpart to help us make sense of it. So when it comes to love, which every religion in the history of the world has built their faith on and which is so important in our scripture that we’re told that “love revealers with unfailing and limitless power the mysteries latent in the universe, “ it’s helpful to think of it in tangible, everyday language because we can’t just walk with logos on our clothes telling us to love without actually understanding what it means. 
Emotional closeness is created in the micro-moments of love and connection. 
Seemingly meaningless little moments add up to create a reservoir of love. 
What are some of the small things you do for those you love? 
I read the love languages theory from The Gottman Institute’s research that there are some smalls things often as Golden Rule of Relationship. I would love to share that those are my favorite ones : 
1. Say good morning and good night. 
2. Give compliments and express appreciation. 
3. Hold their hand when walking. 
4. Write something cute on post it note and place it where they will see. 
5. Give little surprise gifts, like flowers, or something simple to add more smile and maybe their favorite snacks. 
6. Say please (I forgot sometimes and he keeps reminding me), sorry and thank you. 
7. Make them food (I make spicy sometimes 🤭). 
8. Give a little massage. 
9. Clean up little messes when you notice them. 
10. Ask how they are doing. 
11. Snuggle before bed. 

Create a habit of showing your partner love in small ways every day and let your connection grow. 💕😋

Love, 
Ms. Elista


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