Breakups suck.

📸: Kissimmee, 2022

Breakups suck. Hardly anyone gets out of experiencing them at the least once, if not many times. 

I stand in the category of many, and let me tell you, it doesn’t matter how many you go through, breakups never get easier. 

Heartbreak convinces you that your life is over and you will never recover. You replay memories in your head, wondering what you could have done differently. 

You scramble for ways to make it work. It feels like you are grieving a real thing, except the thing that’s dead is the future you two were building. All of it, gone in an instant. It’s terrifying. 

But time heals, and until it does, keep yourself busy. 

Sign up for a dance class, make plans with friends, volunteer, find a new hobby. Sure it feels like you’ll never get better, but I promise you will wake up one day and realize you are all you’ve ever needed. 

Remember, it is not just romantic relationships that can break your heart. Sometimes it is a friend, a parent, or a dream that didn’t work out. 

No matter who or what it is, you survive and refuse to become the victim of your story. 

Maybe I should share my opinion about selfish people. I will tell you about selfish people. Even when they know they will hurt you they walk into your life to taste you because you are the type of being they don’t want to miss out on. You are too much shine to not be felt. So when they have gotten a good look at everything you have to offer. When they have taken your skin, your hair, your secrets with them. When they realize how real this is. How much of a storm you are and it hits them. 

That’s when the cowardice sets in. That’s when the person you thought they were is replaced by the sad reality of what they are. That is when they lose every fighting bone in their body and leave after saying you will find better than me.

You will stand there naked with half of them still hidden somewhere inside you and sob. Asking them why they did it. Why they forced you to love them when they had no intention of loving you back and they will say something along the lines of I just had to try. I had to give a chance. It was you after all.

But that’s not romantic. It isn’t sweet. The idea that they were so engulfed by your existence they had to risk breaking it for the sake of knowing they weren’t the one missing out. Your existence meant that little next to their curiosity of you. 

That’s the thing about selfish people. They gamble entire beings. Entire souls to please their own. One second they are holding you like the world in their lap and the next day they have belittled you to a merry picture. A moment. Something of the past. One second. They shallow you up. And whisper they want to spend the rest of their life with you. But the moment they sense fear. They are already halfway out the door. Without having the nerve to let you go with grace. As if the human hearts means that little to them. 

And after all this. After all of the taking. The nerve. Isn’t it sad and funny how people have more guts these days to undress you with their fingers than they do to pick up the phone and call. Apologize. For the loss. And this is how you lose her. 


Love, 

Ms. Elista 

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