🌞 Since When Do You Need A Tan to Get a Bule?

Let’s talk about one of those random, “did-they-really-just-say-that?” moments.

Because sometimes, people just open their mouths and remind you why sarcasm was invented.

So, picture this: a few weeks ago, someone looked at me and said,

“Eh, Mis Elista sekarang kok agak gelap ya? Menghitamkan diri ya?”

I blinked. Twice. Because, honestly, what kind of question is that?

As if “menghitamkan diri” is a hobby on my weekend to-do list, right next to “buy groceries” and “manifest world peace.”

I told him it’s probably because I’ve been swimming again. You know, that healthy thing humans do in the water? I swim at noon sometimes, under the full power of Bali’s sun. It’s not a crime, it’s a workout.

But he didn’t stop there. He added with full confidence, “Yeah, because there’s this girl too, she’s darkening her skin to get a bule.”

Ah yes, of course. The sacred secret to international romance:

SPF zero and a two-hour sunbath. Because apparently, melanin is the new matchmaking app.

Seriously, since when did your skin tone come with a passport?

Since when did “looking tan” automatically mean “fishing for foreigners”?

I mean, come on. I didn’t realize the world had updated its love manual to:

“Step 1: Ditch sunscreen. Step 2: Tan deeply. Step 3: Wait for your bule to appear like a Pokémon.”

No, darling. I’m not “darkening myself.” I’m living my life.

I swim. I train. I walk my dog Fender. I get sunlight. I enjoy being alive.

And yes, I get tan.

That’s called summer skin, not a dating strategy.

Here’s a little memo for everyone who still thinks skin color defines someone’s worth, beauty, or relationship status: it doesn’t. My skin isn’t an audition. It’s just part of me; strong, healthy, glowing, and real.

So next time someone asks if I’m getting darker for a bule, I’ll just smile and say:

“No, honey. It’s not for a bule. It’s for vitamin D and self-love.”

Because my skin doesn’t need a reason but people sure love to find one. 😏